Sunday, 2 November 2014

Emasculation


Flies buzz around the tea lying on the table. The heat sends them into a crazy tizzy ,thought the man on the table. They served as a break from the due diligent task at hand- to figure out if the building opposite his office always had seven floors or if there was a new addition. A knock on the door prevented him from returning to this investigation.
 "Rajesh Notary?"
"Yes. Please come in."
A tall, fair man sits on the chair across from the table. He has a large red file in his hand which he clutches tightly.  Branded White Shirt, Expensive Watch. Might be time to finally earn some money.
A bright smirk came across Rajesh’s face as he thought of that.
"How can I help you,Sir?"
"Name Change Application."
"Ok. Are you married ?"
" Yes."
" Ok. Then you must have bought the necessary documents for changing your wife's name. Do you wish to just change the last name or the first? Marriage Certificate? PAN Card?"
"I have all the documents required. But sir I am here to not change my wife's name. I am here to change my surname."
"Ohhh. So that will require the documents for both- you and your wife Sir."
"I don't think you understand sir. I am changing my surname to that of my wife."
Rajesh stared long and hard at the man and burst out into a loud laughter.
"Nice one sir. But please stop pulling my leg!"
The man in the white shirt gave a stern reply- "I am being very serious about it!"
Rajesh laid back in his chair for a while as he tried hard to control his amusement.
"I am very sorry Mr.."
" Ravi"
"I will help you with the application. Just give me a minute."
Rajesh quickly vacated his seat and rushed out the door. A few minutes later he walked in with a couple of men. 
" These are my colleagues. They will help us with this. You understand this is not a usual request which we get daily."
"Yes I do. What are the steps to get this done?"
"First, please answer some of our questions" the moustached man stated as he fold his hands.
" Did you get married under any kind of pressure from the bride's family?"
" No"
"You can be honest sir, we are here to help you. Are you being coerced in anyway?"
" No! Why would you think that?"
"Were there any conditions imposed on you? Are you being involved in your father-in-law's work or something? Where are you living? With the in-laws?"
"There are no conditions being imposed on me. I have a job and my wife and I have our own apartment."
"You must understand that we are with you." The other man who was silently listening till now, spoke up."The rights of men should be protected. The woman is supposed to change her surname after marriage. Is there some problem with the wife? Has there been some sort of scuffle or irrational demand from her? Because as experienced married men, we can teach you how to control the woman...."
"Enough! What is wrong with you people? I have come for an affidavit, not lessons on patriarchy. Do you want to provide the service or not?"
" We are just concerned Sir" Rajesh retorted." Why not consider an alternate like what these "Mordurn" couples do. Retain your original surnames and just add your spouse’s last name. You can add the wife's surname in the end! Though in all honesty, for forms and legal purposes we will only use the first one. Everybody wins."
"Are you gentlemen suffering from some mental deformity? I just stated what I want. How does everybody win? I don't get what I want. I am getting the feeling that you are not going to help me."
"Well, we aren't hearing a logical reason,Sir. You don't understand that you are setting a dangerous precedent. It is also a legal nightmare to accomplish this."
"I see. I will take your leave." said Ravi.
 As he reached the door, he turned back.
"Though the reason is none of your business, I will just say "Love" and leave it at that."
The men laughed out loud as he left the premises. "Poor parents. What about their legacy? What about their family? Who will carry the name forward? Today's generation is so selfish" remarked the moustached man.

It had been a week since the incident but it still made Rajesh chuckle. He opened the newspaper and browsed through. There was an informational advertisement which caught his attention-

I, Sri Ravi Damodar Sharma,  have changed my name from Ravi Damodar Sharma to Ravi Singh by affidavit sworn before the Notary Public S.Rajendra, Mumbai on 28/9/14. Henceforth, I shall be known as Ravi Singh for all purposes. Address- Suman and Ravi Singh, 504, Ballard Park, Lokhandwala, Mumbai- 50.

Rajesh laughed so hard that he almost fell from the chair."Someone needs to find this man his balls" he remarked as he kept the paper aside to admire the view outside his window.

[The news of Zoe Saldana's husband taking her last name give new dimension to this fictional post. Let's hope this happens in India too]

Author's Note: Women Don't Emasculate Men. Men Emasculate Men.

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